[South Dakota] Poverty: The next generation

from The Black Hills Pioneer

NORTHERN HILLS - It's not easy for poor kids to fit in with others at school. But, they cannot just leave their family's financial issues behind when they step through the school's doors. A reminder that they are indeed different, is an ongoing cycle that continues to threaten the innocence and youthfulness of our children.

Students visit counselors on a daily basis at area schools because they struggle with issues at home caused by the stresses of living in poverty.

Lead-Deadwood Elementary Counselor Greg Calabro sees 40 children on a regular basis as a direct result of parents living in poverty. Some are seen to discuss misbehavior issues while other children discuss the onset signs of depression. At the high school level, Spearfish High School counselor Marcia Price said her students are mostly dealing with peer pressure.

"In some instances we hear from students who are being made fun of because they are poor, because they have body odor or because of the car they drive," Price said of just some of the problems her students face. "There is a common feeling of hopelessness with these kids. I hear comments like 'What is the point? And how can I ever get out of this?' and I just try and build a relationship with them. I'm nonjudgemental and have empathy for their situation."

Calabro sums it up in one statement; "I listen." He continued by saying a substantial part of his job is giving his kids permission to be sad or angry. Usually the withdrawn little ones are reserved in expressing their own thoughts and Calabro just takes his time. "I use Legos or tinker toys and let them play and just talk to them while they are immersed in this diversion. I build a relationship with them and when they come back I use a more aggressive form of communication."

Calabro said some of the toughest situations for kids are during vacation time when school is not in session because they are forced to stay at home where things aren't going so well. "Thankfully this year was pretty good, but often there are times when abuse will surface. Sometimes in the summer and on holidays kids come in after a referral by another teacher or adult has been made. If there is tension at home, these kids have school as a venue of escape. They are also fed two meals a day (at school) and sometimes that is the most solid meals they will have."

Sometimes others have the unrealistic impression that all poor families can qualify for the federal Food Stamps program or other government subsidies, and that simply isn't the case for all families. Some may make a bit more than the defined poverty levels but still not earn enough to meet daily living requirements with higher fuel costs and other pressures on family budgets. There are situations of disability or other medical crisis that can plunge families into extreme hardship with few safety nets.

For children who are younger, these money issues can be tough to understand. So, most kids hear fighting among adults or seldom see parents because they are working two jobs to support the family. What kids do understand, Calabro says, is the fact they don't have that certain toy.

"I've had kids come in and they see what other kids have and they don't - some can get quite aggressive. You know, it's hard to explain to them about why this is the way it is," Calabro said.

Price said her kids are the same way. "In some instances we probably don't see as many of the students as we should because a lot of them have a great deal of pride and they don't want people to know. When they do, most are angry at their peers, their situation and sometimes they are shy and withdrawn."

Price noted she sees a few students who are an exception to the rule and are pushing themselves toward a better life.

Behavior Management Caseworker Jenny Sand of Spearfish said there is a definite cycle when it comes to poverty. She works on a daily basis with families in Lawrence County dealing with emotional problems that are a direct result of financial anxiety. She also sees several patients that are living in poverty because of their mental disabilities.

Counselors see up to 225 clients per year in Lawrence County. A lot of times, caseworkers will visit the individuals at home to make it easier and more comfortable for them.

"I think a lot of it (poverty) is passed down from generation to generation. Sometimes we see this kind of situation when someone came from money, but most of the time families who have always struggled and pinched pennies are simply stuck in the system," Sand said.

As for the average diagnosis, most individuals seen at Behavior Management suffer from stress, anxiety and depression. "Many of the patients I see on a regular basis have an overwhelming feeling of being judged and looked down upon because of circumstances that are uncontrollable," Sand said of their feelings of shame.

Price said in the end talking and listening to those struggling with these issues can be the most important. Also, she said, teaching them coping skills can be very beneficial. "It is also very important to let them know that they can improve the quality of life and letting them know that you don't have to make six digits and have a house on the hill to be happy. The tough thing is explaining it to a young person who doesn't have food and shelter that they can be the best that they can be," Price said. "How can you even get there if you don't have the basics?"