Poverty is delaying youth marriage

from the Yemen Times

Fatima Al-Ajel fatimafnfr@yahoo.com

Despite the fact that they live in a conservative society that considers marriage one of its main priorities, many Yemeni men over the age of 27 delay marriage indefinitely, for which there are many reasons within Yemeni society.

Fahed Omer, an educated 30-year-old man, lives in a tribal community where the marriage age is very young. However, like many youth in his neighborhood, Omer can’t marry due to his poor economic situation and the expense of the marriage requirements, which forces many youths to delay marriage.

Essentially, poverty and inability to provide material goods are the main reasons increasing the marriage age for Yemeni men, who already have begun thinking about the huge requirements of marriage – both before and after the wedding celebration – such as the bridal dowry, the various wedding parties, the luncheon, etc.

As Omer explains, “I’m making my plans to meet the future economic situation to marry at the soonest opportunity, but a man can’t obtain everything easily. I must determine how I can provide the marriage requirements before I can consider marriage itself.”

Raisah Ajlan, a mother of seven sons, says that her sons’ poor economic situation is the only thing delaying their marriage. She laments, “Although they’re educated, employed and older than 27, they haven’t married yet. New marriage requests have attacked Yemeni society, causing many youth to be unable to marry.”

Hajji Mohammed Nasser, 70, blames the younger generations, who he says have created problems for themselves because both men and women like to show off at their wedding celebrations, regardless of their ability to pay for such futile rites.

He went on to compare the marriage rites of the past to what’s happening today, noting that marriage was simpler then because after the wedding, a man lived with his family and didn’t need to think about a new house or any additional requests.

“Now, everyone wants to copy each other by increasing the dowry and marriage requests – except that only the young men and women are the victims,” Nasser asserts.

Seeking to improve their situation within society, many Yemeni men today prefer to delay marriage until completing their studies and obtaining employment in an attempt to prepare themselves for the sizeable marriage responsibilities.

While educated 29-year-old Ahmad Jaber has a good income, there are other reasons for him to delay marriage, as he admits, “Marriage is a difficult decision requiring much consideration regarding a suitable spouse to share the rest of my life,” in addition to considering how life will change following marriage and how he’ll acclimate to that new life.

“I decided to finish my master’s degree and obtain a high position in order to provide for the welfare of me, my wife and my children in the future,” Jaber explains.

Some well-educated Yemenis refuse their social traditions, opting to delay marriage by immigrating to the city in search of an educated partner.

One such example is 27-year-old Mazin Al-Saqqaf, who refuses the traditional concepts of his community, which compel him to marry from among his relatives or face social criticism. “In my village, girls aren’t educated and I’m looking for an educated girl to share my life and ideas.”

He continues, “Most of my friends and relatives are married, so people always ask why I don’t marry soon. For them, it’s strange for me to refuse marrying, especially at my age. Because I believe marriage is only supplementary, it’s not among my priorities, unlike for many others. Instead, I’m busying myself with youth and political activities, which I think are more important than marriage,” Al-Saqqaf maintains.

However, those living in similar poor conditions understand the circumstances in which youth live and the difficulties preventing them from marrying. “Despite the fact that we’re from tribal origins, because of my poor economic situation, people don’t blame me for not marrying yet,” Omer notes.

On the opposite side, those Yemeni young men with a good income and the ability to marry often are the brunt of rumors and speculation from within their community regarding why they haven’t married.

As Jaber explains, “Many times, I’ve heard rumors that I was secretly married in the city and that I have children. Such rumors cause my family – especially my parents – to want to see me married with children.”

Sociologist Adel Al-Sharjabi proposes that the reasons for men delaying marriage reflect both positive and negative social aspects. For example, it’s a positive thing if a man seeks to improve his position or continue his studies, but it’s also negative in that it reflects the poor economic conditions of youths, with the main reason for the phenomenon being poverty.

While many studies have determined that early marriage is a negative phenomenon and creates problems within Yemeni society, delaying the marriage age of men presents an additional problem as well, as the phenomenon spawns yet another problem – spinsterhood, as most Yemeni men over age 30 marry wives 10 or more years younger than themselves.

Yemeni men delaying marriage increases spinsterhood among young women – especially those who are educated and age 25 or over – because, as Al-Sharjabi clarifies, most educated Yemeni men prefer marrying younger girls, particularly uneducated ones, thereby creating a gap between men and Yemeni women of marriageable age. Thus, a Yemeni young woman then only has the choice either to marry someone younger than herself or not marry at all.

According to a recent study by Sana’a University’s Gender Development Research and Study Center and SHIMA, which is the Yemeni Network to Combat Violence against Women, as well as Britain’s Oxfam organization, 1,495 couples surveyed revealed that early marriage for women comprises 52.1 percent, whereas men marrying at an early age comprised only 6.7 percent, which means that early marriage is only increasing among girls.